I want to scream my throat raw, collapsing in the street. I want to say I feel nothing, to laugh at the mention of your name. I want to saw away at ice for hours before I find your face, surrounded by a shimmering blue halo. Instead there is only an echo, an ache. I wake up, your name on my lips, and feel (instead of anger) only want.
I turn your kindness and comments over and over again, shuffling what was said and unsaid.
Even now, I only wish for the silence before your nervous laugh.
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