One life - you got to do what you can.

Well, for one I work for a large health non-profit. Let's call it the Foundation. My job is challenging, tough, exhausting, exhilarating, depressing...it tears me in so many directions I sleep it, eat it, dream it. But am I giving my all to a cause that only feeds on itself? Am I working there because it's somewhere comfortable ($, health insurance) or doing something good?

I do like the health insurance, and it's a challenge to live in a major city without money. But there are other jobs. So it's the "doing good" eh? That canned answer...

So why are you applying to law school?
What made you want to be a doctor?

I really am not complaining...I started writing this and then went to a workshop. During that workshop an oncology nurse said that when she started nursing about 25 years ago, if a child was diagnosed with cancer, they would immediately begin preparing the family for the death of that child. Now, with cure rates of the most common form of cancer at over 80% things are very different. Which is good.

Which makes me want to stay at this job. It really can't be about the money.

What exactly are you doing here?

I'm not sure.

But I think I have things to say, some of them I want to remember. Some of them I want you to know. If you are reading this, thank you. Please always feel free to email me at KindnessIsTheAnswer@gmail.com.

I just mailed a fan letter to Kurt Vonnegut. I hope it gets to him before he dies. I recently read God Bless You Dr. Kevorkian, and it was beautiful. It helped me clarify some of my own thoughts about death and the afterlife.

Just some things I have been thinking about lately-

I wish I could agree with Richard Dawkins and never look back. I yearn for more, but I have a heart lead by intellect. I know this life is all that we have. But I want more. I know there is beauty beyond myself, and it seems like something Great. Things here are so laden with richness it takes my breath away. I am constantly struck/heart-numbed by what I have at my fingertips.